Thank you, Sam.
( Seriously, I want a Cap belly warmer. )
Steve shows up to an Avengers meeting in August wearing a red white and blue scarf that hangs down nearly to his knees, with little pieces of yarn sticking out anywhere there’s a color change. When Tony stares, Steve shrugs. “Bucky hasn’t figured out how to weave in ends yet,” he says, toying with one of the errant pieces. “Pretty good though, right?”
Tony says nothing. Tony’s not sure there’s anything to say, except, maybe, that knitting needles sound pretty fucking dangerous in the hands of the Winter Soldier.
In September, Natasha pulls her tablet out of a black knit pouch with red edging; in October, Sam’s wearing a pair of thick grey fingerless gloves, little black wings adorning the tops. Clint comes home one day November wearing deep purple arm warmers, and a few days later Bruce walks by wearing the exact same ones in green. By December, Thor’s storing Mjolnir in a little silver knitted sack, and when Steve and Bucky show up for the Christmas party in matching handmade sweaters, holding hands and generally looking much more like something out of an adorable Hallmark commercial than Tony would’ve guessed upon meeting Barnes six months ago, he has to admit it: he’s hurt.
"I am not hurt," he hisses at Pepper, when she finds him sulking. "I am — confused. And! Cold! If Barnes is going to knit things for the entire team then, I mean, whatever, I don’t care. I’m just saying, it’s not exactly fair, is it? Everyone getting something and me—”
"Tony," Pepper interrupts, giving him her gentlest exasperated eyeroll, "Bucky left something for us in the foyer."
It’s a blanket, as it turns out, red and gold striped. Pepper wraps around her shoulders immediately and refuses to give it back, even when Tony tugs her into a kiss and tries to use the distraction to steal it off her. It looks awesome, though, and it feels pretty damn comfortable for the, like, eight seconds Tony gets his hands on it before Pepper sails away, still wearing it around her shoulders. Huh.
Tony sidles up to Steve at the next Avengers meeting. “Hey,” Tony says, “you were right: your boy’s pretty good with a needle. You think he could make a hat that says ‘War Machine Rox,’ spelled with an X? I need a good birthday present for Rhodey.”
Steve beams at him.
“May I ask why you felt little Tiffany deserved to die?”
I’m pretty sure this is why Tumblr gave us photosets.
To this day, I still have absolutely no idea if he actually did the right thing by shooting little Tiffany. His story was very convincing…
I totally bought that he was right.
I always though this was about not demonizing people based on how they look, instead focussing on what they do.
THAT’S RIGHT AGENT J
We noticed that we’re getting real close to 20k Tumblr followers, so we’re giving away season one of Orphan Black to a lucky member of our lovely Tumblr community, and you could win it. Here’s how!
- Follow us on Tumblr.
- Like and reblog this post.
- Do it before noon Eastern Time on Friday, April 18th.
That’s it! That’s all you need to do. We will randomly choose one winner once the duration of the contest is over, and contact them through Fan Mail in order to get their shipping info. Now here’s the fine print:
- The prize is the 3 disc DVD set of Orphan Black season one that the Orphan Black Tumblr so nicely sent to Jill.
- We will ship the prize to the US and Canada, so if you don’t live there (or have understanding acquaintances who could forward your package to you), we advise you not to enter.
- If you do not follow our Tumblr, you will be disqualified.
- We ask you kindly not to spam your followers by reblogging the post over and over, but hey, we’re not the boss of you.
Good luck! And remember, get your likes and reblogs in by noon this Friday!
Oh Billy, you look so small right there…
Superman’s sheer anger over Billy Batson’s situation is a sight to behold. Batman and Robin get away with it because he knows it’s the world’s best internship and that Bruce is willing to put out all the stops to protect him. But Billy? He doesn’t have anyone looking out for him. And that pisses off Superman more than anything.
Seriously, Clark’s face here
He is ready to kick the ass of whoever put this boy in this situation SO HARD
Next page he really lets the Wizard Shazam have it.
Shit, son. I might have to buy this book for those last two panels alone.
When Superman is written well he is an amazing goddamned character.
these few pages are some of my favourite in comic book history. So good. For anyone wondering what the next few pages look like, here you go:
This is a bigger deal than some of you might think, because Superman is one of the heroes in the DC Universe who keeps his secret identity pretty damn secret, because as probably the most powerful and influential person on earth, a lot of people do not wish him well - and would jump at the chance to hold people dear to him as leverage.
Yet, he trusts this poor, scared little kid. To comfort him, and entrust him with his biggest secret - just as Billy did for him.
Superman is just really important, ok?
this for people to truly understand superman
Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:
A fucking fork?
I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.
People eat burritos with forks?
God is sorry he made us.
I always need this on my blog.
I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning.